American Men are Suffering – Here’s Why
Most men in America are suffering – and it has nothing to do with politics.
What is happening is a crisis of friendship.
According to a new survey by the Survey Center on American Life, the social landscape has changed across America. Both men and women have been affected since these societal changes began over three decades ago – American friendships have dramatically dropped consistently since the 1980s.
This friendship recession is particularly bad for men. The percentage of men with at least six close friends fell by half since 1990, from 55 percent to 27 percent. The study also found the percentage of men without any close friends jumped from 3 percent to 15 percent, a fivefold increase.
Single men fare the worst. One in five American men who are unmarried and not in a romantic relationship report not having any close friends.
Even men with a couple of close friends are not in great shape. When it comes to our social circles, size matters. Americans with one close friend are not any less lonely or isolated than those without any close friends. And those with a couple of close confidants are only modestly better off. For those with three or fewer close friends, loneliness and isolation are fairly common experiences: More than half say they have felt that way at least once in the past seven days.
National Review
The survey also found that not only do men have smaller friendship circles, they report that the friendships they do have are less emotionally connecting than in previous decades. Women tend to do better at building and sustaining healthy friendships.
This is also not something that gets worse for men with age. This phenomenon is more complicated – younger men (millennials), who are far more likely to reject traditional notions of masculinity, are struggling the most. Young men now are having a hard time developing enduring social bonds.
One significant factor that causes Millennials to be more lonely than older men is due to their lower religious involvement, lower marriage rates, and higher geographical mobility. Those Millennials who do belong to a religious community, are married and live close to family are no more lonely than Boomers.
Another factor to this friendship crisis involves the changing workplace. Men and women will often develop friendships on the job. However, as Americans work longer hours, switch jobs more frequently, and as remote working grows, workplace friendships are proving to be more difficult to build.
Despite the grim outlook, there is a simple solution. One of the most important things that friendships require is time. In adolescence, Americans prioritize their friendships in a way they do not at any other point in their life. At age 18, we are spending more than two hours a day, on average, with our friends, but this drops precipitously over the ensuing decade. By the time we reach middle age, Americans are devoting only about 30 minutes a day to maintaining their friendships. This is simply not enough. We should rededicate time to fostering friendships, at work, in our neighborhoods, and even online. Few investments provide such an immediate and enduring reward while entailing so little risk.
National Review
Go give someone not in your immediate family a hug. Or call a friend today.
